Thursday, 25 October 2012

It continues

Everything continues to be in a depressing state.

And I hate my life.

I hate it.

Why does every single thing have to be so confusing.

Isn't there one day when I can live normally?

Yesterday, I had a mental breakdown.

It was awful.

I couldn't think straight.

My brain isn't functioning.

And I can't just put my hand at my heart and say All Is Well.

It isn't.

And that would be a lie not even my heart would believe.

It is way too broken.

Nothing seems right.

My world overturned.

No one was there for me.

Well yes there are a few people, people who care a lot for me, those people that were with me all along, those I least expect.

The ones I thought that would stick to me till the end.

They're gone.

Nowhere to be found.


And the one I need, finally got in touch with me.

And hasn't replied until now.

Leaving me confused.

Hurting like hell.

My home is a living hell hole.

I have no one to talk to.

To be honest, I talk to myself in the mirror and also to my bolster.

If they were alive, I bet they would be my best friends.

The ones who know me best.

I tell them everything.


I'm pretty insane huh?

I used to have a go-to-person, but now, that person is sorta gone.

Vanished into thin air.

No wait I know she's there, but just refusing to acknowledge my existence.


Why do that to me?

What have I done?

Is this God punishing me for all I've done?

If yes it is, I'd rather him punish me by giving me some sort of sickness that has no cure to it.

I'd rather die.

But just not this.

I need my best friend back.

I don't get it, why is everything so damn complicated?

Why can't we just be friends like we used to?

When we had so much fun?

Why on earth does jealousy have to interfere and make so much complications?

And make everything so hard?

And those damn period problems too, making everyone such an emotional wreck.

Just realized Jealousy and Period could bring suicide.

Yes suicide.

I'm seriously considering that lately.

It would be great if I could just escape from it all.

But I will still try to hang on.

I will try my best.

But I need help.


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