Another update. Am I gonna update every day from now on?
Had a nice long talk with Jess today. Very inspiring, and almost over my misery.
Good counsel work Jess! Two thumbs up and thanks! :) ♥
The talk was a relief and I never knew Jess went through so much, and that we were so similar in so many ways!
Things that I never ever had the courage to tell anyone just in case they misunderstand me.
Things even I didn't believe and doubted myself.
Thanks to Jess the burden is gone.
ANDDDDD I realized something huge.
Something I never knew.
Something you could say I've waited for so long I gave up the hope of hoping it would happen.
And to think that I stopped hoping 2 years ago and got myself into all this chaos and hurt and confusion just because of this TEENY WEENY thing I didn't know.
In my form 2 days, I absolutely adore Gillian.
In my eyes, she's just this perfect friend but she was always so close to angie that I kept thinking I am like a third wheel.
I still loved her (friendly kinda love) as my best-est friend but I dare not have any hope that she will treat me back as one.
It was more like a dream most unlikely to happen.
I gave up totally when she was in K3F the year after that, and she seemed so happy with her gang of friends OH YEAH that I sort of cut myself off her and went to look for someone else that got me into this chaotic mess.
IF only I knew I was equally as important to her, I guess our friendship would have blossomed so much everyone would be jealous of us two. We would have been so much happier. Ughhhh why didn't she tell me back then D':
Well I guess I didn't too oh well.
How did I know you may ask?
Turns out she told Jess about how I am her number one best friend since f2 and I was like omg seriously me too but I didn't know!
What a waste of almost two years. Oh well, fate!
I have no idea my talk with Jess made me happier, more confused or frustrated.
I've already built up walls around my heart.